Prepping Your Pad For a Date
by Kristin "KC" Casey
I frequently ask to see pictures of a client's home and bedroom, to assess its seductiveness for dating and intimacy. Often, I see a shortage of the type of comforts and conveniences women appreciate, such as a place to set down a purse or jacket (other than the floor), softer sources of lighting than standard ceiling fixtures, and fresh clean towels in the bathroom.
Last night I watched the movie The Big Sick, which had a scene depicting this very issue. Early in the movie the lead character brings home a date. She asks where she might put down her things, glancing awkwardly around his bedroom. He gestures to a spot on the floor, stammering something about having cleaned that spot recently. His date was agreeable enough, but anyone watching closely will notice her split second mental mathematics. That moment she weighed her date's assets against his deficits, subtracting points for lack of preparedness from a sum total of charm, wit, appearance, and romantic partner potential.
It's a minor thing, really...for a ninety minute, low budget rom-com, anyway. But for my clients dating is already complicated, with enough anxiety-producing pitfalls the last thing they need is another one. Especially one so easily avoided with a little foresight and fifteen minutes of online shopping.
Candles, lamps (with low wattage bulbs), throw pillows, wine glasses, wine, a coat rack, clean sheets, soft hand-towels, and quality soap. These things are staples to anyone with a modicum of thoughtfulness hoping to welcome a special woman into his home. They're a sign of respect, not just for your date but for yourself. Unless you're dating an incredibly forgiving, somewhat love sick, college age woman-child, they're all but required (and even then). They show a woman you've given real thought to her needs, wants, and comfort level.
Bottom line, you're more likely to get your needs met when you care enough to keep hers in mind.
Kristin Casey is a Certified Intimacy Coach based in Austin, Texas. She is also an IPSA trained Surrogate Partner. Her first book, a memoir Rock Monster: My Life with Joe Walsh, was released by Rare Bird Books in March, 2018.